Endless
by It'sHardToBelieve
Summary: Izaya knows how he feels. It's just a matter of how Shizu-chan feels. And Shizu-chan hates him. Of that, he's sure. Shizuo knows how he feels. It's just a matter of how Izaya feels. And Izaya loves him. Of that, he's sure. (Shizuo sings a confession to Izaya, and it goes beyond Izaya's mental capabilities to process).


He left him. Left him alone.

That was what Shizu-chan wanted, after all, he'd discovered.

And Izaya wanted him to be happy.

What Shizu-chan wanted the most was peace and to be free from Izaya. So, if it was for Shizu-chan, he'd get out of his sight. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Therefore, he'd been leaving him entirely alone for the last six months.

And damned if it wasn't still excruciating.

Izaya loved him, after all. How? Why? The why was completely unanswerable but the how…well, Shizu-chan had saved him. Of course, he was probably unaware of that, but he'd saved Izaya nonetheless. Well…maybe it was more complicated than that.

But Shizu-chan didn't know any of that. And he never needed to; he'd only be affected negatively by Izaya's feelings, considering that Shizu-chan didn't feel the same. Whether it was distress, sadness, pity, anger, or even some combination thereof, those would be the feelings brought forth by Izaya's love which would be harmful to Shizu-chan and therefore, telling him was not an option. It would hurt far more to know that he'd hurt Shizu-chan than to never tell him his true feelings.

He never would have thought things would come to this.

Yet despite all of that, he couldn't help but leave a present for Shizu-chan every day. It wasn't anything much or fancy, but he hoped it made Shizu-chan happy. He had to express his…affection…somehow. From what he could gather with his sources, it did, too. He supposed he'd keep doing it. He'd do whatever would make Shizu-chan happy.

There were times, of course, when Izaya had been in Ikebukuro for work or something like that, and Shizu-chan had hunted him down, interestingly enough; usually Shizu-chan wouldn't initiate a fight but it seemed to be going that way for some reason. Or at least, he'd start off calm and then become more aggressive.

But then…it was strange. There were also times that…became more common in which Shizu-chan would find him and then just…stare at him. Usually he'd be smoking too but he'd just…stare. He wouldn't even look upset at all. Just oddly contemplative.

Naturally, this was suspicious to Izaya. Even so, he couldn't figure out what it meant. Not yet, anyway. It was inconceivable to think that Shizu-chan might be on to him.

He pulled his coat around himself tightly; it was a bit chilly on this night and he was meeting a new client at an unfamiliar location on the edges of main Tokyo. The wind whipped around him and he shivered. Luckily, it seemed like he was almost there.

The night reminded him of when Shizu-chan had saved him.

After stopping by Russia Sushi, Izaya was making his way back out of Ikebukuro. Not many people were out, given the chilly weather and the fact that it had gotten late enough that many places were starting to close in the area.

That didn't, apparently, stop those who were up to no good.

"Orihara!"

A man's voice sounded from the left, from inside an alleyway.

The problem was that the voice was extremely close. So close, Izaya was shocked into stillness, his heart racing. Although he was quick to pull his knife, the opponent was quicker.

Izaya was dragged into the alleyway and shoved against the wall. His arm was pinned against the wall, and a pair of hands wrenched his grip open, the knife falling to the ground and picked up by another assailant. Sinister laughter echoed through the air, but Izaya found he couldn't contribute to the noise himself, as there was a hand wrapped around his throat. Not quite enough to choke him, but close enough that he couldn't speak.

He could still see, however. It was a bit dark in the alleyway, but he could see their outlines at least – there were five of them.

"You've really fucked with the wrong people now, you fucking bastard!"

The closest one to him, the one almost chocking him seemed to be the leader, but there were others helping in pinning him to the wall…they certainly didn't underestimate him.

Before Izaya knew it, there was a swift and painful kick aimed straight to his shin. It wasn't exactly a pitiful kick either.

Izaya couldn't help but let out a painful groan. That had been bad. But what was far worse was that all of them began to beat up on him. It was probably one of the more painful experiences of his life, and that was including being hit by a Shizu-chan Projectile.

After what felt like hours of abuse to his body, he finally felt the oncoming sweet relief of unconsciousness upon him. He felt himself being dropped to the ground.

Ah, but the ground was far more merciful.

Was someone coming? Is that what'd happened? He wasn't sure; it was getting difficult to focus. Whatever it was, Izaya was grateful; he hadn't had a contingency plan for a situation like that…he could only foresee such a situation in the case of a very sneaky and plotting Shizu-chan. Since such a thing didn't exist, he had immediately thrown out any concern of that, unfortunately for him.

He felt himself being picked up, bridal style. Who and how? He could hear a low voice talking to him as well. The feeling of cold air brushed his face; he must be moving now. Coming more to his senses, he opened his eyes, groaning just a little with effort.

He saw the dark sky, a cloud here and there. More than that, there were a few starts in the light-polluted Tokyo sky along with the crescent moon. Everything was moving a bit though in his vision, he was definitely being carried in someone's arms.

Turning his head as much as he could, Izaya saw the determined face of Shizu-chan. His eyes were focused straight ahead, and Izaya could tell they were walking at an extremely quick pace, to God knows where.

If he had more energy, he'd have gasped in surprise but as it was, he could only widen his eyes just a bit. He wanted to ask him what he thought he was doing.

Why would he be carrying him?

Why so gently?

And why did he look…worried?

He tried his damndest to speak anyway.

"…why?"

But the energy it took to do that knocked him out. He heard one last thing. A gentle voice. A very gentle, human voice.

"Hush now, flea."

He was laying on something soft. He wasn't hurting so much anymore, and he could feel something in his hair. A hand, it seemed to be. It was combing through his black locks gently. Oh, so gently, and lovingly. Loving…? There was another hand too…it was wrapped around his own. Warm, bigger than his own, and just…cradling his hand with interlocked fingers.

Yet, what he was more focused on was the voice coming from just nearby. It must've belonged to the owner of the hand.

It was humming beautifully.

…what a wonderful dream this was.

Izaya fell asleep.

When he'd woken up, he realized he'd been changed into what must've been spare clothes.

He also realized that he was at Shinra's. And yet Shizu-chan was there too. Sleeping on the couch next to him.

Izaya couldn't help but stare. He looked so calm and peaceful, after all.

"He said he couldn't just leave you like that."

In walked Shinra, who was obviously amused. He went on to explain that Shizuo had found him after seeing a few people flee from an alleyway. He'd brought him straight here.

Izaya's world was shaken. Thus, the moment he was able to…he ran away.

Izaya smiled sadly, remembering.

If only he hadn't run…what might've happened?

Could he have become…friendly with Shizu-chan? Might they have been able to reconcile? It seemed like, from what he could remember, Shizu-chan might've been willing…?

Yet when they next met up, their interaction had been the same…that might've been his own fault though for defaulting to his typical words and actions.

Still…Shizu-chan was just a good person. There was no logical proof that he might feel anything other than absolute disdain and hatred for him, the "flea".

Even so, that night had irrevocably changed him and his feelings toward Shizu-chan.

Izaya had begun sending him presents, stopped antagonizing him, and did nothing to interfere with his life.

He'd sent repair people to fix things, even to upgrade things at Shizu-chan's apartment. He'd sent sweet things, he'd sent flowers even. Finally, he'd begun sending Shizu-chan trinkets like origami figures. Though…his favorite things that he'd sent were the glass moon and stars…it reminded him of that night, though he knew it wouldn't mean anything to Shizu-chan. Even so, he just…couldn't help it.

Finally, he'd reached the establishment.

La Elio Locanda.

Izaya didn't really know much Italian, but he'd double-checked the name of the place. The Helium Inn…? Quite interesting in its uniqueness.

Entering, the place appeared to be an inn indeed. However, he was led to the main restaurant area to sit over at the bar by the hostess. She informed him that he was expected, and the person awaiting him would be along shortly.

Interesting. Other people were not generally made aware of his meetings; the clients were usually immensely secretive. It hardly mattered to him, however.

The place was nice, decorated in a European fashion. All of the tables had white, pristine tablecloths covering them and the main source of late came from the high number of candles throughout the place and on the tables. There was the slight glint of the light coming from the silverware and napkins were folded pristinely on the plates. There was even a small stage in the corner of the room.

Plenty of other guests were in the room, enjoying a meal. Many of them were dressed to the nines, though the dress code had been pinned up outside to indicate that it wasn't required. This was a relief, as Izaya hadn't really been under the impression that it was a particularly classy establishment before arriving, so he wasn't wearing anything special outside of his normal garb.

"You must be Orihara-san."

A man in a waiter's uniform for the inn came up and sat next to him at the bar.

"I am, a pleasure to meet you Carasone-san."

"Likewise," the waiter smiled.

Wait, a waiter?

"You…work here?" Izaya asked.

"Indeed, I do. I apologize for my Japanese ability, I'm afraid it's not very good but I hope you can put up with it nonetheless," Carasone-san smiled. "Nevertheless, I'm not really the one who has called your attention here…my apologies for the subterfuge."

Izaya raised a brow. How intriguing.

"Then who, pray tell, has requested my presence?"

The mysterious waiter smiled once more.

"He will come soon…in the meantime, please enjoy a drink of your choice on us."

So Izaya did. He was very interested to find out just what was going on, after all. So, he ordered a wine with not too much alcohol content and waited. If he was going to wait, this would be the place to do it; it was lovely, and the patrons were rather quiet on the whole, lending to the pleasant and soothing atmosphere.

In the corner of the room, the small stage suddenly lit up. It wasn't too bright, just enough to see the stage well. There wasn't any equipment or instruments there, it was just large enough for someone to stand.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be having our weekly performances this evening, starting off with a special performance from one of our own."

A voice came over the speaker system, which Izaya didn't realize there was. To be fair, he hadn't looked up at the otherwise non-descript ceiling. It seemed there would be some of kind of show or performance appearing shortly.

There was clapping heard around the restaurant in response to the announcement.

Well, it wasn't his business. Izaya turned back to the bar to sip his drink and await whoever his real client was supposed to be.

It was lucky he was not otherwise busy tonight, or else he might be getting annoyed at the mysteriousness and the secrecy of it all.

A gentle tune began flowing through the air. It was almost casual in the way it wound around the patrons and blended into the atmosphere effortlessly. Included in the sounds were piano and a string instrument to accompany.

The thing that caught everyone's attention, however, were the soft tones of humming emitted throughout the room thanks to a microphone held by the singer on the small stage who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, much like the soft and flowing tune that had started up.

More still, the voice was…familiar. Eerily so. Thus, Izaya had no choice but to turn his seat and look at the stage to see the source of the admittedly calming and loving sound.

If the tune and the voice hadn't been hypnotizing enough, the person who was standing there stole Izaya's breath completely.

Shizuo.

He was in something similar to his normal bartender clothing, but he was dressed in a black suit and tie and was lacking his blue glasses.

After what sounded like the introduction was through, Shizuo opened his mouth, and Izaya's functioning mind was utterly defeated in sound.

"_Senza Fine…"_  
(Endless…)

"_Tu trascini la nostra vita"_  
(You drag our lives)

"_Senza un attimo di respiro"_  
(Without a moment's breath)

Izaya's breathing was deep but somewhat haggard; his Italian wasn't very good, but he was able to pick out some words. And since when did Shizu-chan know Italian?

But…the reason Izaya was affected so? Well…Shizuo had looked straight at him and hadn't looked away or even blinked yet.

"_Per sognare"_  
(To dream)

"_Per potere ricordare"_  
(To be able to remember)

"_Cio che abbiamo gia vissuto…"_  
(What we have already lived…)

Those piercing brown eyes seemed to stare right into his soul…did Shizuo…did he _know_? Izaya tried to search in those eyes, but all he got was…pleading?

Just what was Shizuo trying to say with his eyes and with his words?

Shizuo's eyes closed now, but his voice grew just slightly louder.

The other patrons were starting to sway back and forth to the song, many of them smiling.

"_Senza fine…"_  
(Endless…)

"_Tu sei un attimo senza fine"_  
(You are an endless moment)

"_Non hai ieri, non hai domani"_  
(You have no yesterday, you have no tomorrow)

"_Tutto e ormai nelle tue mani"  
_(Everything is now in your hands)

"_Mani grandi, mani senza fine"_  
(Great hands, endless hands)

Shizuo's eyes snapped open, and they seemed to engulf Izaya entirely.

Izaya was good at reading people yet this may just be his greatest challenge yet. What was he seeing in those eyes exactly…was that…desire?

Izaya flushed.

It couldn't be, and yet…that was what he was seeing and…hearing too.

"_Non m'importa della luna"_  
(I don't care of the moon)

_"Non m'importa della stelle"_  
(I don't care of the stars)

"_Tu per me sei luna e stelle"_  
(You are to me the moon and stars)

"_Tu per me sei sole e cielo"_  
(You are to me the sun and the sky)

"_Tu per me sei tutto quanto"_  
(You are everything to me)

"_Tutto quanto io voglio avere…"_  
(Everything I want to have…)

Izaya averted his eyes and looked away, his hand coming up to cover his mouth and part of his beet red face.

"_Senza fine…"  
_(Endless…)

There was that humming again, bring the song to a close. But…it was the humming he'd heard in his dream, he was sure of it…so why was it coming from Shizu-chan?

There was soft clapping sounding out around the room as it was clear the song had ended, and the lights dimmed once more. Izaya dared a look back at the stage and saw a smiling Shizuo. A glowing smile. Aimed right at him. Izaya could have sworn he was a puddle on the floor at this point.

And wait just a minute…he…he winked at him! And so unabashedly!

Right before Shizuo left the stage, walking away steadily out of the restaurant's entrance and, as far as Izaya could see, down a hallway.

Well…that just wouldn't do.

Izaya got up, putting a confident smirk on his face.

He couldn't just let Shizu-chan leave it at that.

He didn't know when he'd fallen for Izaya. He had no idea, actually.

He did know, however, when he realized it. It was that night when Izaya had been hurt so badly about six months ago. He'd taken him straight to Shinra's and watched over him the whole time. He'd stared up at the moon and stars through the windows during that time…waiting for Izaya to wake up. Though he'd fallen asleep and then Izaya was gone. And Shizuo realized he wanted nothing more than to be with Izaya…forever.

But the flea really had no idea, it seemed.

He'd looked so taken aback tonight, so shocked. Yet…so deliciously flustered too.

Shizuo grinned wolfishly to himself.

Oh, he'd certainly done it now. He'd forced Izaya to face him. His trap should be snapping shut any moment now; Izaya wouldn't be avoiding this.

He'd gone to the back alley behind the restaurant. For a smoke, most would assume. But no, he was waiting for his flea. Yes, _his_ flea.

He was certain that his feelings were reciprocated. He'd seen it that night at Shinra's. He'd seen it in the subsequent encounters he had with the flea, and he saw it in his eyes too…

But Izaya wasn't nearly as sneaky about his latest behavior as he'd thought, clearly. That, or he didn't care about masking his true feelings which would be rather out of character for him.

Even so, the point was that Izaya most certainly loved him. He was quite confident. Nothing else would account for the behavior, the presents (of course they were from Izaya – who else?), and even the shift in the rumors around the city.

Rumor had it that there wasn't chaos being spread around. Well, it wasn't really a rumor so much as the collective observation of the city overall. If anything, it was as though someone had gone around, quelling the trouble that did pop up now and again over the last several months.

Now just who would have such abilities? No one else but Izaya. And why? For peace, no doubt about it.

But Izaya was about puzzles and subtleties. He was shadow and obfuscation. So, naturally, Shizuo made a show out of his confession. Yet, he hid his words and used implications instead. Nothing very difficult, assuming one was familiar enough with Italian, which Shizuo was certain the flea was – just enough, anyway.

So, it was interesting that he was so taken aback and flustered. So surprised, he seemed to be. Did he still not understand Shizuo's feelings? How funny. It was because of Izaya's gifts that Shizuo got the part-time job here and ultimately could make more money, made friends, and even learned some Italian (though he had help with choosing such a song).

But it seemed like the flea didn't really know what Shizuo really wanted…the peace, certainly…but the lack of Izaya's presence was…was…

Unbearable.

Shizuo leaned against the brick wall, waiting. He didn't need to wait long.

Izaya finally came out, with a cocky grin plastered on his face. His body language, however, spoke another tale.

Shizuo just grinned.

Izaya was on his way to exit the building into the alleyway. No doubt, Shizu-chan would come here for a smoke. Or at least, presumably so. Apparently, he was not as aware of Shizu-chan's feelings and motivations as he'd previously thought. Had he miraculously become entirely dense? Was he just ignorant to…certain feelings? It was a possibility he could not, unfortunately, refuse. Or maybe Shizu-chan was far craftier than he'd pegged him as?

But Izaya couldn't let his enemy(?) see him as weakened. This had to be some kind of ploy. How could Shizu-chan return his feelings, after all? It was impossible. He was Izaya, after all. How could a human – yes, human – like Shizu-chan possibly return his feelings?

Originally, he'd thought he'd be the one with overbearing feelings for the Shizu-chan-who-hated-him.

But this – this was unprecedented. It had completely overturned everything.

Yet, Izaya loved it – it reminded him just of Shizu-chan.

Still, for whatever awaited him, he had to face it. Izaya went through a door that seemed to be a side exit leading outside of the building.

And there he was, Shizu-chan himself, leaning against the wall to the side, not smoking, however.

"Waiting for me, Shizu-chan~?" he smirked.

He could not show his heart any more than he already had.

How dangerous, such an idea.

"Of course, Izaya."

Izaya froze for just an instant. Shizuo had used his full, regular name. Also, he wasn't exactly used to casual, friendly-sounding conversation with Shizuo. Not to mention that voice…was laced with something menacing. It was different from the normal growls of the beast, however. It was…dark, yet warm. What was going on?

He was rapidly losing composure…and with just three words? Just what was happening to him?

Well…he knew. He wasn't an ignoramus. Yet he had to be to some extent to not see all of this coming, he supposed. But now was make it or break it time. He supposed he could just run if he needed to. But some part of him, some traitorous part of him knew he wouldn't.

Izaya continued smirking and raised his arms up to gesture off to the sides, casually.

"Well, quite a show deserves a congratulations. It was quite well-liked in there, you see."

Shizuo pushed off against the wall and moved a step closer to Izaya.

"What matters is if you liked it, Izaya."

Izaya pursed his lips ever so slightly. This wasn't going according to his admittedly flimsy plan at all. Had he known all along what was really happening? Wait…what was really happening?

"I…"

He looked off to the side, unable to answer. He couldn't help the flush creeping along his cheeks. Shizuo knew just what he was doing, it seemed.

Well.

If it made Shizuo happy to emotionally destroy him, to end their little game, then so be it. He wouldn't mind.

Izaya smiled, defeated, and looked back up at the imploring eyes of Shizuo.

"I did," he uttered. "It was very sweet…thank you," he squeezed out in a whisper.

And with that, he quickly looked to the ground, unable to find out for himself Shizuo's response.

Shizuo looked surprised, but only for a moment. In the place of surprise, came a smile that made Izaya tear up. It just wasn't fair. _He_ just wasn't fair. How could Shizuo be sincere? Or was he?

Izaya was so confused now.

"Don't get me wrong."

Feet came much closer and a hand grasped his chin, forcing Izaya to look into the eyes of his heart's captor.

The other hand moved to Izaya's hair, and slowly, casually ran through the dark hair, brushing it back a bit.

How oddly familiar that was…

"I did this for you, Izaya."

Izaya blinked slowly. How could this be…?

"It was funny, though. I thought you of all people would see straight through what I was saying and understand right away," now the smile had turned gentle. "But I see you need convincing."

The hands moved away, and one grasped his own.

Shizuo knelt down on one knee, still looking up at him, with one of Izaya's hands in front of his face. He kissed it, gently.

Izaya's mouth dropped open.

"I hope you'll tell me of your feelings for me, Izaya."

God, would the idiot stop saying his name like…like _that_? He blushed, hard.

"But for now, I'll just tell you mine."

He stood back up to his full height, and Izaya backed himself into the wall behind him.

There was no way this was happening.

He'd heard proof of it inside, but…that was just a ruse, right? This was all some plot to harm him, wasn't it?

"I love you."

And with that, his mental faculties were blown apart.

He merely stood there, awe-struck.

He'd said it, Shizuo had said it.

And he looked…so brutally sincere. So honest and straight-forward this time.

Izaya closed his eyes.

"Are you done…?"

"Hm?"

It just. Wasn't. Possible.

"There's no way you love me, Shizu-chan, so…just end this farce, already…it hurts."

He opened his eyes again to see sad ones looking right back at him.

"Oh, Izaya…"

He found himself in a hug. A warm, comforting one. And there was that voice again.

"I love you so much, you know. I have for God only knows how long."

Izaya sniffled.

He seemed so truthful, but for Shizuo to love someone like him…it couldn't be possible, could it?

He was released from the hug, only to hear a jangling sound. Shizuo had pulled out…keys from his pocket.

Izaya's eyes widened. Those weren't keys on the keyring…there were two of his presents on there…

Izaya typically sent Shizuo themed gifts for the most part…they'd usually involved the stars, the moon, or both…for that was what he remembered so clearly of that night when he was saved.

And Shizuo had his two favorite ones – a glass moon and a glass star there on a key ring, by themselves. Did Shizuo just…carry that around?

"I carry this with me…because I knew it was from you, and…these were my favorites of your gifts."

"How did you know it was me…?" Izaya finally spoke again.

With a smile, Shizuo responded. "The timing of your change of behavior, your avoiding me, and the typical extravagance of the gifts…that's what clued me in." He then put the keyring back in his pocket.

Izaya looked away again. That would be pretty obvious even to the dimmest of people, he supposed. It just seemed like Shizuo wouldn't pick up on it no matter what, being that he felt that a reciprocation of feelings would be so improbable.

Yet…

Maybe it wasn't.

"I meant everything I said, Izaya."

A hand placed itself next to Izaya's head on the wall, and Shizuo's own face came closer to his.

"I only want you."

Izaya blinked with incredulity.

This was really happening.

Shizuo was serious.

"More than the moon."

"I…Shizuo."

"More than the stars."

Izaya reached up to grab a fistful of Shizuo's shirt, not quite sure what he wanted to do.

"More than the sun and the sky…more than anything."

Izaya bit his lip. How could he say anything? Anything to that?

Was that his heart that was pounding so hard in his chest?

Yes…that was at least a familiar feeling when it came to Shizuo.

"And were it up to me…we'd be endless, together."

So…forever, huh?

Izaya could finally smile.

It sounded perfect.

Shizuo's entire expression had been almost desperate looking…yet now, it softened into a perfect Shizuo smile.

Well…here goes nothing.

"I love you too."

They smiled, staring into each other eyes. There was nowhere else to look, after all. Nowhere important.

"Thank you, Izaya."

Shizuo moved forward and pulled Izaya into a kiss.

It was more than anything Izaya could've imagined. He kissed back, urgently. Just in case…just in case it all might be taken from him.

But no, if anything, there was more to be had.

A tongue pressed against his lips, and he allowed it to push through.

And it was perfect.

The tongue was one thing, but the hand was another as it roamed across his chest and down his stomach, Izaya couldn't help but moan into the kiss, causing Shizuo to push him firmly against the wall, groaning in return.

They broke apart, panting lightly.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"It's hard to share feelings like that…so I'm grateful you did."

Izaya frowned. "After everything…?" He looked at Shizuo almost shyly. "How could I not tell you?" he quietly admitted.

Shizuo's eyes darkened at that.

"You know…I could show you stars back at my place."

"Oh, could you, now?" Izaya smirked.

"Would you like to see?" Shizuo grinned that wolfish grin of his.

He held out a hand to Izaya.

"Certainly."

Izaya placed a hand in Shizuo's.

They walked back toward Shizuo's place, hand in hand.

And Izaya never left him alone again.

They were endless.


End file.
